Somewhere Only We Know
by kurosora1984
Summary: Axel hadn't been home in years. Now, for the first time...


**Author's Note: **This oneshot is a commission for **inarikasugawa **over on dA. She wanted a fic based on the song "Somewhere Only We Know" by Keane. So this is what happened, and she's allowing me to post it. ^_^

For the record, while I am deeply grateful for this commission and the commissioner who was _so_ incredibly great about everything, commissions in the future (for anyone who wants to know) will definitely be more expensive and I reserve total rights to decline for any reason.

This is harder than I thought. XD

Oh, disclaimed. And Keane's song is Keane's song. I sure as hell didn't write it.

* * *

**Somewhere Only We Know**

Dry leaves and twigs rustled and crunched under Axel's feet as he strolled along the path. His steps occasionally shuffled over the dry dirt, kicking at the autumn detritus. Fists bunched deep in his jeans pockets and shoulders hunched, not because it was all that chilly, but his sweater wasn't meant to cut the woodsmoke-scented wind and Axel always did hate the cold.

His eyes were fixed downward now. He'd started his walk with frequent glances around, but he hadn't gone far before it became obvious that nothing had changed, nothing at all. Every step was second nature on this path that he still knew by heart, could walk it blind and never trip. The town was still the same, from Main Street to the outskirts to the path that led away from town and into the woods. Small towns never changed, Axel supposed. Still, arriving yesterday had been a little surreal. Like he was ten again, or five, or seventeen, and saw this place every day, rather than twenty-three and just coming back after…was it five years or six?

He reached the little stream where the path more or less ended and sat for a bit on the rickety wooden bench some community organization had donated ages ago. The bench made Clock Creek Trail official. Clock Creek itself didn't seem to care, just like it hadn't seemed to care when two thirteen-year-old boys had gotten themselves into such a heated discussion about whether it was a creek, stream, or brook that dictionaries and encyclopedias had even been brought out to resolve the matter.

Turned out, there wasn't much difference. Axel had still insisted that "creek" was good enough for him, but _someone _else really thought "brook" sounded nicer.

Axel stared at the water that flowed and burbled exactly as it always had and wondered if Roxas had forgotten him.

Which was a silly doubt; he already knew better. He'd run into Roxas in the town's only café just this morning, when he went by for some coffee because his mom didn't keep any in the house. He'd turned away from the counter and there he was, the same little blond guy he'd grown up with, sitting at a table and tapping away on a laptop.

For two seconds, Axel couldn't breathe. He was trying to think – should he go say hi, or just walk out?

Then Roxas had looked up, those deep blue eyes had widened, seeing him, and Axel didn't have the choice anymore. He swallowed and smiled a tiny bit and walked over to the boy who actually was looking almost like a man now…but still looked exactly like himself.

"Roxas, hi." He hoped he sounded casual and friendly.

"Hi Axel." Roxas _did_ sound casual and friendly. "I didn't know you were in town."

"Yeah," the redhead nodded. "Just got in yesterday. Here visiting my mom."

"That's nice."

"Yeah. You live around here now?"

"Nah." Roxas shook his head. "Just visiting too. My brother's wife is about to have her first kid, so I'm in town for the week."

"Ah," his friendly expression brightened, "Congratulations to them. And you. An uncle huh?"

"Yeah, thanks." Roxas nodded and smiled more.

"Cloud lives around here then?"

Roxas nodded again. "They bought a house in River Hills."

"Good for them…nice neighborhood." Axel nodded too. There was a short pause.

"Um…wanna sit down?" Roxas indicated the seat opposite, closing his laptop. Axel hesitated before he decided that he didn't have a good enough excuse not to.

"Sure, just for a bit. I've got a little time." The truth was, he had all day…and all of the next day too. Aside from visiting his mom and a few people, there was nothing much for him to do around here.

Roxas sipped his tea. Axel knew it would be peach tea; he sipped his coffee, inhaling its warm, strong scent. After a moment, Roxas spoke again. "So…what have you been doing since…since graduation?"

_We saw each other after that; we saw each other all summer that year, just like every summer before. Right through August. The night before we left for college. That time…that was the last time we met. Did you forget that night?_

Axel didn't say that. He didn't say anything about that time, since Roxas hadn't.

"Oh, well, college. Got that physical therapy degree. Um, graduated last year, of course."

"Didn't fail any classes?"

Axel chuckled hollowly. "Well, one. But it didn't hold me back."

Roxas' teeth flashed briefly with a small grin that almost reached his eyes. "OK, so what have you been up to since?"

"Well, I started my masters while interning at the city hospital, and I'm working on my second year of that, and then I'll start my doctorate."

"Wow…a doctor. Never really figured you for that kinda career." There was a flicker of something in Roxas' eyes and tone as he said that, and for a brief moment Axel felt like the gap between them stretched far and fast and became a gulf, endless and huge. It hurt.

"Yeah, well. What about you?" The question managed to sound casual and light.

"College, of course. Business degree. And…since then, just working. Got a nine to five desk job."

_What happened to saving the whales?_ Axel wanted to ask. But he didn't. Somehow…there wasn't room in this conversation for reminders of nine-year-old Roxas' ambition to be a marine biologist. After all, Roxas hadn't asked him about his traveling fireworks show. "That sounds interesting," he offered instead.

"It isn't." Roxas was amicable and neutral. "I'd tell you about it, but we'd both be bored to death."

"Ah."

Axel was suddenly feeling fidgety. The next place this conversation would go would be more family details, maybe "Have you heard from So-and-So," but it wouldn't be long before he'd be studiously avoiding the topic of his and Roxas' personal life. Things like that…just had to come up eventually. But here…he couldn't talk about it here. Not like this. No matter how badly he wanted to know.

"So how long are you in town?"

Axel looked up again when Roxas spoke. "Oh, um…a few days I guess."

The blond hummed. "Doing anything much?"

A shrug. "Oh, looking around. Seeing folks. Helping Mom with some things." The nervousness was building. "Hey, um, I have to go now actually." Axel was standing as soon as he said it.

"Oh," Roxas nodded vaguely. "OK. Maybe I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," Axel took a step backward. "See you around sometime."

"OK." Axel pushed through the café door and was gone.

They didn't say, _We should do lunch._ Not even that.

Axel knew he wouldn't "see Roxas around sometime." Anyway, he didn't want to. He didn't think he could handle another stiff, false conversation like that.

So he went back to his house and helped his mom move some dusty boxes, had lunch, and then told her he wanted to go for a stroll. Now here he was. Strolling. Or sitting. Sitting by Clock Creek.

He got up and turned his steps off the path, into the woods. There had never been a path here, but the way had been a little clearer back then. Now it was overgrown even more. The dry leaves lay over wet leaves now, not dirt, and there was a faint woodsy scent from the decomposition underfoot. But his feet knew this route as perfectly as the path.

Axel wondered if Roxas had forgotten the way. He wondered if Roxas would even think about coming back to this place. And he knew that he wouldn't see Roxas around town, but he'd come _here_ every day until he left, just in case.

His hands came free of his pockets in order to push scraggly branches out of his way, sparing his sweater from snags. It was just a little bit cooler here, where the weakening autumn sun was mostly hidden by the red and orange and brown and gold that hadn't already fallen. The light was mottled and less warming, but the smoky wind was nearly still, broken by the trees all around, and Axel's hands only got a little cold.

Since he could walk, he'd been playing outside with Roxas. He wasn't even sure he remembered when they'd first discovered this spot. To Axel, it had always been their place. And it, too, had changed little.

The woods opened up slightly where some large slabs of rock broke from the dark earth, the big trees avoiding the clearing where their roots couldn't reach deep. And there was the ancient maple tree, huge and knobby and gloriously red, but not quite as huge as Axel remembered.

But here, after all, something had changed. Axel noticed the fallen tree at once – it had come down roughly across a corner of the clearing. Judging by the moss and decay, it hadn't been this year either…but that wasn't important. Axel was about ninety percent certain that it had been Roxas' favorite tree. At least, there weren't many birches in this area, and he _thought_ that was the one Roxas had claimed was his favorite.

He strolled over to it, legs stretching to step on flat rock outcroppings without Axel even thinking about it. He'd island-hopped these rocks a thousand times, until his legs got long enough that he could walk them. Roxas had been jealous; his legs were still too short then.

Axel reached the fallen birch and stretched out a cold hand to its pale, peeling bark. It came away in long strips when he pulled. Roxas' favorite tree. He wondered if Roxas had forgotten. He wondered if Roxas might think to come up and see how his tree was doing.

Under the maple tree…here. This was where they used to sit, when they got older, became teenagers, became big, proud high school students, and didn't run around as much anymore. This was the stone circle fire pit Axel had cleverly constructed, because they had to have a fire. Of course. When they came out here – Axel bringing a stolen pack of his mom's Camels, Roxas bringing two swiped beers of his dad's – when they came to drink and smoke and be just a little bit bad, Axel just had to have a fire. A fire made it seem…badder somehow.

The memory made him want a cigarette…but Axel had quit years ago, at a certain college friend's insistence. Instead, he decided on a fire. Passing the time in front of a little blaze would be nice.

It took only a few minutes to collect some tinder and wood and sweep out the fire pit – materials were plentiful now, having had a few years to restock while no one put them to regular use. Now he needed something to light it with…there. It only took a moment to remember the spot. They'd dug a hole and covered it with a slab of rock. Inside was a shoe box with their stash of supplies.

Digging his fingers under the slab, which had settled into the earth, Axel heaved the rock out of the way, uncovering the mildewy old box. Its soft cardboard lid was set aside, and Axel first went for the plastic baggy where he'd stashed a few books of matches.

Using them with practiced ease, Axel soon had his fire started. The tinder flared and Axel coaxed smaller sticks into catching as well, gradually adding more until a few small logs could be settled into the heat, letting the fire start to gnaw into them. His fire added more smoke scent to the autumn air as Axel returned to the shoebox, investigating the other items they'd left.

Another plastic baggy with breath mints for clearing away the evidence after smoking and drinking. A little bottle of citrusy hand lotion for the same purpose, because while their clothes would mostly smell like campfire, Roxas' mother had a razor-sharp sense of smell when it came to tobacco on her son's hands. It looked a little off-color and iffy now. Apart from that, there was only another baggy of tinder Axel had collected and sealed up long ago, just in case.

Under the shoe box, however, there was something else. Axel could see the curling edges of its discolored pages peeking from the dirt…but he just left it there. He knew what it was, and it hadn't even interested him much then. Roxas had been the one to steal his older brother's porn magazine. Axel had acted excited and wondered later why it hadn't been real. He'd figured a few things out after that.

Even Roxas had lost interest in the magazine rather quickly. Neither of them had bothered with sealing it in plastic when they stuck it under the shoe box, and it had lain there undisturbed for a long time, even before the last time they'd been here.

The last time he'd seen Roxas. The warm August night they hadn't mentioned in the café this morning. The one Axel wondered if Roxas had forgotten…because he sure as hell never had. And he wanted to apologize, explain…but somehow, between the coffee and tea and laptop and smooth jazz background music and the awkward "catching up" there was just no spot to say, "I'm sorry."

Axel stared into the fire and remembered.

Even on a warm August night, he'd made a fire. It was their last night – it wouldn't have been complete without a fire. Besides, at the time, he'd had a desperate need to do something with his hands, keep himself busy, because every time he looked at Roxas this coiling agony in his chest and stomach would go crazy again. It had been building all summer, since graduation, since Larxene had unexpectedly tongued him at that party afterward and Roxas had seen it but hadn't seen Axel cuss the girl out later. And all summer he'd been wanting to explain that he hadn't wanted it, but the moment just hadn't come up, and things just got miserable.

He hadn't intended what happened that night, but it had changed his world.

_A warm darkness around them and firelight, flickering on skin, on sweat, popping and cracking behind the little moans and heavy breathing and…and other sounds. And bitten-back cries of pain…_

It had been bad, awkward, poorly done enough to make _him_ uncomfortable. Roxas must have hurt immensely. It had been a stupid, reckless thing to do. He knew it now, but at eighteen he hadn't known what else to _do_, and hadn't known how to explain…

_But even though it wasn't so good, it was amazing, it was Roxas, and just Roxas' lips against his and Roxas' scent and the feel of him and the connection had been more than enough. The fire had burned down before the afterglow faded enough for Axel to sit up. By the deep orange glow, Axel saw Roxas, turned away from him and shivering, and blood…there was blood. _

He hadn't dared to look at Roxas again, couldn't turn his head to see if there were tears on those cheeks like on his own. His head was full of only four words, _What have I done?_

To the whispered "Why?" he'd had no answer. His words and his voice were frozen, and they didn't thaw until long after the last whisper, the "Goodbye." By then, the fire was dead and he was alone, and he felt as if that, too, had stayed the same ever since.

He went to a big university with a good medical program. Roxas was going to start at a small business college and then transfer to Axel's university the next year…but somehow, that had never happened. Come to think of it, he hadn't asked Roxas what school he'd ended up finishing his degree at. Maybe that question would have been hedging dangerous territory.

The fire burned, and Axel knew he should let it die, but he kept feeding it more branches, a new log, kept staring into it and remembering and remembering things that had haunted his dreams, and the afternoon faded and the sun started the last and most colorful leg of its descent.

Sounds off on the right drew his startled gaze, and the long shadows of the tree trunks were flickering bars of darkness over the figure that approached the clearing, picking the way out slowly and carefully.

Axel felt his heart drop right into his stomach. He turned back to the sunset and stared ahead, skin prickling and ears straining as he listened to the person approach.

Roxas didn't say anything, but Axel heard him stop near the edge of the clearing, and thought he detected a small sound of dismay – that was the side with the fallen tree. Then there was a scuffling, a slight shift of branches, and if Axel had to guess he'd say maybe Roxas had turned to sit on the old birch. He still didn't look over though. His eyes were tracing gilded clouds intently and his shoulders were stiff and he was trying to process a hopeless hope come true.

Roxas was here. That meant he remembered. Roxas wasn't greeting him with false smiles and "Nice weather, huh?" That meant…

_Maybe this conversation will be different. _

Axel sighed. Bracing his hands on his knees, he stood up. His gaze ducked down to the fire for a moment as his hands dug into denim pockets again, before he slowly shuffled his feet and turned, looking up at Roxas.

Roxas was sitting on the tree, as Axel had expected, and just watching him. Silent. Neutral.

"Your tree fell down." Axel's voice was low, and he stayed by the fire, some eight feet away, but he knew Roxas could hear. The woods were quiet.

A blond head slowly nodded. "Yeah. Too bad." Blue eyes broke away for a moment, Roxas' hand stroking over rough bark, studying the tree sadly. _He remembers, he remembers… _Then, before Axel could find words again, Roxas spoke without looking up. "What have you done since then?"

Somehow, it was the same question, but utterly, completely different.

Filling his lungs slowly, Axel answered. "I dated a guy for three years in college. We broke up last year." Blue eyes turned back to him, still calm, still steady and serious. Axel didn't let his voice shake with the urgent curiosity churning under his ribs. "What about you?"

An exhale, Roxas' profile in golden light as he gazed out at the painted sky. "Two girlfriends, three boyfriends…and a one-night stand that I don't remember. Could have been either. Broke up with the last one eight months ago." His small smile was rueful as he glanced back at Axel. "Sounded better in my head. Before I knew you'd only had one. I sound like a slut compared to you." Harsh words, but Axel knew there was no sting in them. He just…understood Roxas.

"Mom says I'm the loyal type." He shrugged, his own sad, regretful grin starting up. On the one hand, jealousy was a spike of pain in his chest, a brief flare of hate for those six people. But then, he couldn't blame Roxas for searching. He could only blame himself for having presented the boy with a puzzle and no answers, and then left him alone to figure it out.

A slow nod. "You are."

They were silent for a while. The breeze shuffled the highest leaves overhead and a bird chirped occasionally. In the darker shadows, a few late crickets sang. Axel just looked at Roxas; Roxas just looked at Axel. The redhead felt nervous, insecure…but not uptight or fake like in the café. Just…hesitant like an eighteen-year-old who didn't know quite what to say.

But this time, he was an eighteen-year-old who'd had a few years to think about it, come up with the words. They had waited inside him, burning and aching all this time. It was time to release them into the cooling, still air.

"I'm sorry." His eyes dropped a moment before he forced them back to Roxas'. "That…that time…I'm sorry."

The response was soft. "Why? Why did you?"

His feet itched to step forward, closer…but he didn't dare, didn't feel he had the right. He shuffled them a little. "Because…I was eighteen, and it felt like everything was ending and I was losing you…and because I was eighteen, and I didn't know how to tell you…I loved you."

Slow and soft as the evening breeze, Roxas sighed. Then, carefully, he scooted forward and slid off the tree trunk, taking a few steps toward Axel. "You always were better at the _show_ part in 'Show and Tell.'"

Axel breathed out a quick laugh and awkwardly scratched his head. Roxas stopped two long paces in front of him, and fluttering, nervous hope filled Axel's stomach to see the blond gently smiling, still just faintly sad, but nowhere near the pain and anger he'd feared to see.

"Yeah," he breathed, then searched deep blue for an answer. "Forgive me?" His voice was weak and frail and pleading. Embarrassing.

Roxas' smile didn't waver, just stretched a tiny bit, his head tipping a degree to the left, and Axel remembered that mannerism, remembered that curious look in blue eyes, remembered it since Roxas was probably a grand two feet tall.

"Forgive you for what, exactly?"

And Axel's mind jumped back over what he'd just said, re-checking it for the nuances Roxas was picking at. "For…" he hesitated, but went with the obvious to start. "For what I did to you," he breathed, ashamed.

A slight nod…surprisingly, followed by an arch look, one blond eyebrow twitching upward. "You know," Roxas pondered, "maybe you forgot this part, so I'll remind you. Axel." The redhead was suddenly fixed with a serious look. "I didn't exactly _fight_ you that night."

Memories, memories, all in a rush. Things he'd denied, told himself he'd imagined, told himself had been the heat of the moment. Roxas' lips moving against his, a mouth that opened to him, tongue clumsy and uncertain but stroking back, hands that didn't push away, didn't ball into fists and hit him…but instead clutched his arms, his shoulders, his hair. Hands that…that held onto him like a lifeline, sometimes even…pulling him closer. But Roxas had been confused, hadn't he? Taken off guard, unable to fight the sudden attack of his best friend…and anyway, Axel had never dared to assume that not coming away with a black eye meant Roxas had _wanted _what he'd done.

The blond was speaking again, soft, but Axel didn't miss a syllable. "For that…I forgave you that same night."

"Thank you." It was a sigh of relief. Axel hadn't truly known what a weight of guilt he'd been carrying since then until this moment, when it was suddenly lifted. In awe, he drew his first deep, forgiven breath in years. "Then…" his thoughts sought the next thing Roxas might mean. "Forgive me for…not telling you why?"

Again, a nod. "We were young." Roxas' steady voice answered. "I forgive you."

Axel wanted to hold him. He wanted to wrap his arms around Roxas and hug him like he could fuse them together like soft clay. He wanted to _feel_ forgiven…but he held back. They might be putting the past to rest, but in the present, such unsolicited gestures might be uncalled-for.

But there was a sharp look in Roxas' eyes now, and he wasn't done talking. "I won't forgive you, though, if you apologize for loving me."

His eyes blinked automatically three times before Axel was able to get past his frozen shock and double-check Roxas' words. That could mean…two things.

I won't forgive you for loving me. _Oh god, no. Please._

I won't forgive you for apologizing. _That…sounds a lot more like Roxas. _Axel was sure it wasn't wishful thinking – he remembered the way Roxas expressed himself. It hadn't changed.

So he met the steady blue gaze that regarded him and swallowed his fears and replied evenly, "I can't apologize for loving you any more than I can apologize for breathing. Because…I've always loved you. It's a part of who I _am_."

Roxas didn't hesitate, didn't withhold the warm smile, not for a minute. "Took you long enough to figure yourself out, there."

Axel smiled weakly. "Sorry for being dumb."

Rolling blue eyes. "This from a future _doctor._" Then Roxas stepped forward, and Axel felt time stop as that blond head rested against his chest, arms hugging around his torso tightly.

As if in a trance, Axel lifted a hand to Roxas' hair, cradling that blond head against his chest. Voice low, he forced himself to finish saying what he'd needed to say for so, so long.

"Roxas…you've been the best part of my life since I was three. If I live to be three hundred, I want that to stay true. I want to spend my life with you and never be separated like this again. So…" he swallowed. "Don't be mad, but I'm kinda dying to know how you feel about me."

A soft sigh reached his ears, and Roxas' hold loosened just enough to allow the shorter man to look up at him. Roxas had gained some height, yes…but he was still a short guy. Axel was delighted, just because it was another thing that hadn't changed. Roxas' eyes were the same too, the same blue, just…a little more mature and calm as they smiled at him now. "My turn, huh?" Axel had a flash of déjà vu…like they were fourteen and playing Truth or Dare. "Well. Since then, I've had things to think about. You really messed me up, Axel." A wry smile. "But it wasn't even that night alone…it was the whole summer, and the way I had reacted. I had to look at my life differently. I had to find answers." The gaze drifted down again, a little unhappily.

"Since then, what I found was sometimes close…but it wasn't the same. It wasn't _you_, and it wasn't enough, and now…I guess I'm just tired of looking. I know we've been cut off for a few years," an unhappy look up at Axel again, "but I still feel like there's no one more a part of me than you. It scared the hell out of me, coming up here…wondering if you still remembered."

"I do, of course I do…"

"Yes," Roxas' smile was beautiful, familiar. A gentle hand lifted to caress the side of Axel's face. "You've never let me down. And I want to come home, now. I'm ready to fall in love with you properly this time…and stay with you." Axel blinked against the suddenly fuzzy sight of his beloved's face, trying to hold back the tears.

"I need you."

Roxas' words resonated within him, echoing the longing throb of his own heart. His own need…for Roxas. Forever.

"I'm yours." And it was all he'd ever wanted to be. All he'd ever wanted to tell those deep blue eyes.

"Then I'm yours, too." And as Roxas whispered it, he held a hand up between their chests, pinky finger extended. Axel almost laughed, reminded of how they had pinky-promised _everything_ in fourth grade, from an agreement to trade halves of their sandwiches at lunch to a promise to meet right here after school. It was funny…come to think of it, he was pretty sure he'd never made a pinky promise with anyone else. Only Roxas.

His smallest finger curled around Roxas', but Axel wasn't really looking. Their eyes were locked together, free arms around each other, and even as their fingers linked he felt Roxas reaching up as he bent down.

Their fingers held on tight as their lips met. Soft, soft…and warm, and relaxing, and _Roxas_. Lips on lips, moving slowly, heart racing, and Axel had never been this happy or content in his life.

And then Roxas' lips parted, his warm tongue slipping past Axel's unresisting lips, and their hands broke apart, Roxas' fingers tracing adoring touches over his cheek while Axel reached around that slender neck, fingers brushing in blond hair as each tipped his head slightly, deepening the kiss. And maybe that time they had been awkward and sloppy, and maybe since then they had both learned to do better, but Axel didn't care about skill. He didn't even care where Roxas had picked up his technique, because the only thing that mattered was Roxas' mouth, Roxas' breath, and Roxas' body pressed against his.

They didn't feel the chilly evening breeze pick up and they didn't notice the light fade to blue-white and black twilight or the fire slowly burning down to coals. Axel's mind and heart were full of Roxas, and he wanted to stay that way forever. To be accepted, to be with Roxas, the only one he was meant to be with – it was enough.

But Roxas wanted more.

"Axel." Hands cradling his face, warm breath against his lips, barely-open eyes reflecting the glow of the low-burning fire – Roxas.

His mumbling voice echoed his heart automatically. "I love you, Roxas."

The blond smiled faintly. "I love you, too. And…I want you."

Axel felt his eyes widening. "Now?" _In the place where I did such a thing to you? _"Here?"

Roxas just brushed soothing fingers through long red hair. "Why not here? It's not like anyone will come…only we know this place." A quick, soft kiss to Axel's chin. "And why not now? It's not like we're _strangers_, Axel." A light tone of teasing sarcasm entered the blond's voice as he said it.

"But…" Axel struggled to articulate his objections. "I hurt you here once, and I swore I'd never hurt you like that again. I thought…" Axel reddened a bit. "I was planning on waiting until I could make it perfect for you." He had vague ideas of a nice hotel room, or even just a nice _bed_, satin sheets and pillows for Roxas' comfort…but the blond just shook his head.

"Axel…don't be upset at hearing this, but I've _had_ those so-called 'perfect nights.' They meant so little to me, in the end, because it wasn't _you._ So now…" Arms around his neck pulled the redhead close, Roxas hugging him to whisper in his ear. "I want _you_, and making love with _you_ will be perfect, no matter when or where. Besides," lips ghosted over Axel's ear sweetly. "this is _our_ place. We grew up together right here. I want to start the rest of our lives together right here, too."

Axel could say nothing against that. He had no resistance against Roxas – the blond's whispered words had overcome his worries, and even begun awakening his body already.

No, Axel couldn't argue. He could only lower his head to kiss that warm neck sweetly, firmly…and then softer, slower, more passionately…then faster. He could only submit to Roxas' wishes, give in to his desire.

Roxas welcomed the kisses, moaning and tilting his head and encouraging Axel to kiss him more, and Axel could only obey.

Roxas' hands were the first to roam, exploring Axel's body. As his shirt was pushed upward, Axel shivered at the brush of cool air and warm hands on his chest. Wherever Roxas touched him, his skin would tingle and his body grow hot. Soon, Axel found himself reciprocating, his own hands slipping under Roxas' shirt to run up and down the young man's back.

Slowly they shed their clothes, each taking turns removing something from the other, kissing often, smiling more, blue and green eyes meeting again and again. Shy and delighted, lustful and loving, laughing and hesitant and aroused, wanting, yearning. Green and blue and blue and green. Flickering firelight on skin, pale and soon glistening with sweat. Like the last time, but not like it at all. Because this time Axel could slowly gaze at each part of Roxas' body as it was revealed…and Roxas could do the same.

They piled their clothes together on the leafy ground, creating a makeshift bed. They kissed and they touched, pressing heat to heat, voices heavy with pleasure and need. When Roxas touched him, Axel trembled and nearly lost control. When Roxas lay down on his back, eyes fixed on Axel, spreading his legs, and whispered, "Take me," while lightly touching himself…Axel had to grasp his arousal suddenly to keep himself from coming.

The irresistible young man just smiled at him, seeming to understand perfectly. "Well," Roxas beamed, "I'm flattered."

"Sorry," Axel gasped, struggling to regain control. "I'm not usually…I mean, I _never_…"

"Then I'm even more flattered," the blond interrupted with a wink.

Axel had doubts about using the old lotion, but Roxas insisted that lotion didn't go bad and it would work fine. And then he silenced Axel's objections with a warm, full kiss, while squirting some of the slippery stuff into the redhead's hand.

He forgot about his doubts once his fingers entered Roxas. He forgot about everything then.

"A-ahh! Mmm, Axel…" He slipped out then in with another finger, obeying the pleas of "Deeper…y-yes…oh God, right there!" He watched Roxas' reactions until he couldn't hold himself back anymore. The squeezed-shut eyes, head tossing and fingers clawing at fabric, chest heaving and sweaty, legs jerking and twitching in response to each caress inside, arousal weeping onto his stomach – his best friend, _his Roxas_, more beautiful than anyone in the world.

And begging for him to hurry.

"I have to make sure…"

"Oh God, it's enough Axel, I'm ready! Please take me, please, I won't break or bleed this time. Hurry…I need you inside me…" Watery blue eyes longing, lusting, melted and needy.

"Please…enter me…"

He couldn't resist, couldn't _breathe_. Couldn't stop…

When they came together Axel would have thought he was dying if he could have had any thoughts other than of Roxas. Their bodies joined in heat and passion and ecstasy, tight and trembling, both voices unleashed in wordless cries of bliss, but that was only the surface of their union. Deeper inside the two young men, soul-deep, they came together – two spirits who knew each other from their beginnings, finally twined and tied together as one, finally allowed to unite as they had always yearned to, craving to be bound to the one who was always closest but never close enough.

The passion in their bodies was an inferno, a paradise on earth, but the joy in their hearts at becoming one at last was more, more than either could speak or understand.

Together they came to the peak, the highest point of pleasure; together they climaxed, each one drinking his name from his lover's lips. Their bodies pulsed and throbbed in unison, perfect, straining, hot, ecstatic. Then Axel felt them melt – both of them, his body and Roxas' – releasing and falling and softly meeting and clinging together.

They didn't speak at first, just gasped for air and held one another weakly in the dark by the barely-glowing coals of the fire, the night air drying their sweat slowly.

When Axel could move again, he only lifted his head enough to kiss Roxas. His skin was comfortably warm everywhere they were touching, but the breeze was cool on his back and would soon chill him. Soon, they would have to get up and dress again…but not yet.

He could feel the faint vibrations of Roxas' tiny whimpers and moans as the blond returned the kiss, and he knew somehow that they were truly reunited now. That night he had turned away from Roxas, from the pain he had caused his friend. Tonight, neither of them had any thought of parting again. Tonight, Roxas' kisses made Axel sure that he was forgiven.

Axel felt hands on his face as Roxas touched him, and then his lover's voice was a soft murmur against his lips. "Don't ever leave me again."

He opened his eyes just before Roxas did, and their gazes met with a quiet intensity.

"I've been searching all this time without you, Axel. I don't ever want to feel lost like that again. Promise me…promise me I can rely on you. _You're_ my home, now. Promise to always stay?"

Swallowing around a lump in his throat, Axel touched their lips together again before answering. "I promise. You can trust me, from now on." Then a twinkle of amusement entered his eyes, Roxas already sighing with relief. "I'm the loyal type, remember? You'll never get rid of me now."

Roxas giggled, and Axel remembered that sound from long ago, like an echo of a part of his own soul. There were soft pops from the dying fire, a few late crickets, the stirring trees as the wind teased colorful leaves loose to swirl them into the dark night…but Axel saw only his lover, heard nothing but Roxas' breathing, Roxas' laughter, and the soft, whispered answer.

"I'll never try."

~o~

**Note to readers!** Hey guys! If you read this because you're into Axel and Roxas and that's pretty much it, well...thanks! I hope you liked it! :D But if you _also_ wonder if this Kurosora1984 lady has anything else to entertain you, and if you are even a little interested in _other_ guys getting their sexy romance on, check out my current original story on FP! Links in my profile! Thank you, dears! :D


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